My Xmas Season Rant

I live in South Florida. Many of the people here are the most selfish self-entitled narcissistic pieces of crap I’ve ever seen. (Next to LA of course, the worst and most selfish place I’ve ever lived.) Yeah, they have charitable fundraisers and functions galore, but it only serves as egoism to the extreme and to one-up everyone else.

 “Gee, look how charitable I am, look at me I’m giving to the…wait what is this charity event again?”

If you live in a place where the local paper has a society page, my advice is to move!

Here they have a whole pull-out section once a week, where women with the worst face-lifts you have ever seen all stare at the camera like unwrapped mummies with death grimaces, glowing over what they did for the children without Prada. Women, who by the grace of their husbands’ overstuffed salaries and golden parachutes, need to find something for themselves to do to give themselves self-worth. So instead of actually dirtying their hands, they throw a gala black tie holiday affair! (Well they do know about affairs if the gossip columns are even only half right)

This time of year I miss Wisconsin. (I don’t miss the cold though.)  I still had to put up with Christmas, but at least the people were nicer about it. If they wished you a Merry Christmas and you responded by saying “thank-you for the thought but I don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you enjoy yours” they would apologize and ask if it was ok to wish you a happy holiday instead and if you would be offended. Seriously that really happened to me.

When I explain it to folks here that I don’t celebrate it, they seem to really go out of their way, even harder, to force it on you.


It’s almost like having venom spat in your eye by a cobra.

Have a merry chrisssstmasssss

My favorite is the response, “How very sad for you”, like I was suffering from terminal cancer instead of being able to simply think for myself.

You know what? F-bombYou too.

If I was Jewish, Buddhist or Muslim, no comment would be made. But I don’t believe in mythical bullshit so it’s ok to be snide.

Other than the whole religion aspect of it, I hate the general buy-in to the commercialism.

Me, Me, Me, Gimme, Gimme. Even some of the ads this year have those themes.

Or there’s, “Oh I don’t care about getting presents it’s all about the giving

That is selfish in its own right. It’s all about making you feel better isn’t it?

When last I worked in an office a co-worker gave me a little gift bag with a horrendous blueberry scented candle and a candy apple covered in green, white and red sprinkles and don’t forget the little “Swiss Hell” box with the summer sausage and cheese.

Sensitivity to scents? Cholesterol? We don’t care about your stinking cholesterol! Never mind whether someone may have allergies, or diabetes, but she well knew that I don’t celebrate this damnable, made-up holiday. She was just being spiteful. Then she got huffy because I didn’t do a back flip in gratitude for her crappy dollar store gift. Seriously. It’s just damn selfishness.

It’s like when I was taking a break from meat and went on a vegetarian diet for a year. Everyone kept trying to feed me animal products. “What’s wrong with you? Everyone needs to eat meat it’s the natural order of things” Not for herbivores it isn’t.

That’s what really chafes my ass, the sheer and utter contempt.

I’m the guy that would always volunteer to work the holidays and let everyone skip out early because it doesn’t matter to me. It’s a day like any other in my book and I know it’s important to other people, so fine, take the rest of the day off I’ll hold down the fort on “good” Friday. The thing is how many of them are actually going to church? How many have actually gone to church more than Christmas Eve/Day and maybe Easter? (Other than the occasional wedding or funeral)

I’m so glad I’ve been working from home for the past few years it makes it easier to avoid. No more secret Santas and holiday office parties.

Each time someone gives me grief about not celebrating Xmas, I just want to say,

“I hope Santa gets stuck in your chimney and his rotting carcass stinks up your Spanish colonial!” Instead I tell them to have a Happy Solstice!

It’s time to revert back to the original pagan holiday and get rid of this commercial abomination. Everyone still has something to celebrate, everyone still gets some time off. No one needs to be excluded.


About NoSacredCow

Irreverent atheist, skeptic, independent voter, social liberal, fiscal conservative, music lover, avid reader, engager in ruthless repartee, just an extra in somebody else's movie...
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