WWJD: What Would Jesus Drive?

"Pope Benedict XVI waves from the Pope-mo...

Image via Wikipedia

The Pope may or may not be getting a new Popemobile. Mercedes-Benz refuses to confirm at this time that they are building it, but the Pope is looking to get himself a Popemobile Hybrid.

Originally they were looking for an all-electric option but Mercedes doesn’t offer it and were not about to develop one with an all new wheel base just for one client. Even if it’s the pope. (Even if it’s a German pope.) Those Germans, good business sense, great healthcare system.

The Vatican claims that an all-electric vehicle with the added weight of all that armor and bulletproof glass would prevent a quick getaway if necessary.

“Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na POPEMAN!”

They don’t seem to understand that electric vehicles actually are pretty peppy starting from a standstill. Ever ride in a golf cart? They go from zero to maxed-out in nothing flat. Electric cars are the same concept. Direct drive vehicle doesn’t require the power buildup of an internal combustion engine but that’s for Popular Mechanics to explain.

Now while I do have to give Ratzenface some credit for being ecologically conscious, (he has chided world leaders about not doing anything about global warming, added solar panels at the Vatican and even sponsored the reforestation of about 37 acres in Hungary, that was cut down in the middle ages, to help offset the CO2 footprint of the Vatican too)

I just wonder, What would Jesus drive?

Would Jesus opt for an armored bulletproof vehicle? (Yeah I know there were no cars in his day or firearms for that matter) but if Jeebus made the miraculous encore today would he opt for a popemobile too? Would he want one that looks more like an Escalade? Or maybe a Humvee?

4 Wheeling christian soldiers driving through the crowd…

Frankly having the pope ride around in a heavily armored vehicle really kind of says something about faith now doesn’t it? It makes you wonder, shouldn’t he have the protection of the all omnipotent being? I mean the pope is god’s voice on earth or were they lying about that too? (snicker)

So priests are so often heard consoling the grieving “it was god’s plan”, “god wanted him/her home”. “blah-blah blah-blah blah-blah-blah”

If Ratzenbasset is martyred by a Muslim or a cranky evangelical wouldn’t that be “god’s” plan too??? Isn’t driving around in a Popemobile intentionally trying to thwart “god’s” plan? Or doesn’t the imaginary being’s machinations apply to the pope?

Hmmmm. Signs point to, “It’s all a crock of bull-pucky there Bob”

“I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.” Doug McLeod


About NoSacredCow

Irreverent atheist, skeptic, independent voter, social liberal, fiscal conservative, music lover, avid reader, engager in ruthless repartee, just an extra in somebody else's movie...
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