The Scary Thing is, They’ll Get Votes

I haven’t posted in a while due to having changed jobs. Yes, there are jobs to be had if you are willing to move to where the work is. To paraphrase Sam Kinison, “this is sand, nothing grows in sand, you have to move where the food is”.

I’ve been watching the GOP debates. My friends ask, “How can you watch this? These people are nuts.”

My response is, they are about as entertaining as anything else on TV these days. After all, it’s just another scripted reality show. (of which I don’t watch any) This current GOP crop is following Dick Nixon‘s advice to go as conservative as you can during the primaries and swing to the middle for the general election. (Though a couple of them won’t be able to swing back since they went so far right they got stuck in the wall.) So you can watch this and laugh while at the same time flipping your flat screen the bird and occasionally shouting foul language like a Tourette’s sufferer.

The most entertaining of the debates has been the Tea Party sponsored debate. It was also the most disturbing. (You have to keep in mind that the audience was drawn from that core demographic.)

One thing that really stood out to me was how many people cheered when Ron Paul mentioned doing away with the Department of Education. To me that says everything. Knowledge is bad. Facts are evil. Bible=Good. Not to mention the shout out “let ’em die” when Wolf Blitzer asked Ron Paul what should we do with someone without health insurance that is in a coma. (paraphrasing) Plus Ron Paul blinked. (slippery slope questions are a bitch if you are the one not asking.)

At any rate here is my impression of this current crop of candidates. The only thing Obama has to be worried about so far is Obama, who is still the most moderate republican in Washington)

Mitt Romney is attempting to impersonate Ronnie Reagan. (He just needs to throw in a “Well…” every once in a while and he’ll have it down). (While Reagan is a godhead to the GOP community folks should remember that under Reagan unemployment peaked at 10.8% in Nov/Dec 1982.) I couldn’t handle having to see Romney regularly in the news as he comes across as disingenuous and all over the road in his stances. He just wants to get elected, I don’t think he really stands for anything.

Rick Perry is running for King of Texas but he’s too dumb to realize he declared the wrong candidacy. He crows about Texas’ growth but the wages are low, the populace is poorly educated, they also had a huge influx of people post Katrina and many of the jobs created were wait for it, “gubment” jobs. About the only rational thing he did was the HPV vaccine. No Rick, on second thought you couldn’t have taken it to the legislature, because they would have required the handing out of a bible with every vaccination administered and pledge not to abort if the patient should eventually become accidentally pregnant. Oh wait that’s ok with Rick. He’s the most evangelical candidate didn’t you know? What other candidate stages “hooray for Jebus” rallies? Has anyone else noticed that if you close your eyes while Perry is speaking he sounds like a dumber Dumbya? Seriously what is up with Texas?

Michele Bachmann is, well, Michele Bachmann. Maybe she’s running for Queen of the Loons? She’s anti-Vaxx, anti-facts, anti-evolution, anti-science, anti-education (unless it’s religious) but she is pro-breeding and pro-church and pro-Mayberry. There hasn’t been a fact she hasn’t been able to twist or misquote or maybe she just plainly hears what it is she wants to hear. (like the Fox News demographic). She’s the queen of “Pants on Fire” ratings on Politifact.
Shame on Minnesota we only have you to blame. (and the children of the corn in Iowa.) One other thing, how come the Tea Partyers screamed about the Bachmann Newsweek cover but they don’t scream about every picture of Debbie Wasserman-Schultz? (shudder).

Ron Paul is, well, a bit loony too. He doesn’t see the hypocrisy of his own statements. He’s a libertarian except when it comes to women’s rights. Thinks we should go back to “the good old days” when the churches used to take care of people. (How come in the good old days people didn’t live longer Ron? You’re a physician you should be able to answer this.) Yeah I agree about troop withdrawals and taking care of people at home first. But making education up to the states? We’ll have pockets in this country as backwards as the Taliban. (as if we don’t already). He has come back with some good quips at the expense of his rivals. Like making fun of Loony Bachmann’s pledge to get gas prices below two dollars again by pointing out that if you take inflation into account gas is still ten cents a gallon. (This is why I find it entertaining.) His rabid followers I don’t find entertaining. Actually I think it’s one guy snorting Adderall clogging up all the boards with “Ron Paul isn’t getting a fair shake posts”.

Herman Cain isn’t Able. He’s got a 9, 9, 9, plan. I think he’s been involved in too many pizza marketing campaigns. Not everything he says is ridiculous, he does have some good points. But he needs to be honest with himself. He won’t appeal to the Tea Party base. They are anti-Obama for the same reason Cain won’t get the nomination. He might be good for a GOP cabinet post, maybe even VP if they really want to show to the rest of America that Republicans aren’t as racist as the Tea Party.

Rick “I’ve got 7 kids too” Santorum. The only thing he has proven is that he follows the church and doesn’t use birth control. He is going for the apologists vote. (If anyone voted for him they should be required to apologize.) I won’t waste anymore time on him other than to say he’s sucking up to Romney maybe he hopes he’ll get the Veep nod. (poor T-Paw gets screwed at every turn)

Jon “I’m not that Mormon” Huntsman is from a state founded by a cult and the cult is still in charge. What is the difference between mandatory healthcare and collecting a tithe? Or Taxes and Tithing? The LDS takes 10% off the top. That’s one percent more than Herman Cain is asking for. (Maybe it’s why Mormons are so anti-tax because after the church gets their cut and then the government takes theirs they don’t have much left to feed the forty kids and ten wives). Huntsman wants to simplify the tax code and eliminate deductions while eliminating capital gains altogether. Ummm Mr. Huntsman? The wealthiest in the country aren’t drawing much in the way of a salary. They make their income through investment. So in other words. Work the market, buy into a hedge fund and keep everything you make. Nice. Don’t worry we’ll let the poor and middle class take care of the infrastructure. But at least he believes in science and knows that climate change isn’t a hoax which probably makes him the most sane and least electable within his own party and the most electable to the rest of the country. Too bad he won’t get that far.

Newt Gingrich. Still throwing out fear. (blah blah blah 9/11 blah blah blah terrorists…) I guess he thinks the rest of us don’t remember how he got the boot. Now he’s making money doing apologist “historical” documentaries for the catholic church. Hey, if you need some history glossed over, who better to do it than the guy who was the first to be censured by congress but pretends it never happened right?

Now don’t think I’m going to exclusively bash Republicans. There’s plenty to throw at the Dems too including Obama, but I’ll save that for another post. I’m just trying to get my sea legs back.


About NoSacredCow

Irreverent atheist, skeptic, independent voter, social liberal, fiscal conservative, music lover, avid reader, engager in ruthless repartee, just an extra in somebody else's movie...
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