Got Vote?

I really like early voting. There are a number of reasons.

Being an atheist in Florida, early voting allows me to vote at the public library instead of forcing me to vote at a church on election day. What’s up with Florida making churches polling places? Isn’t that kind of thumbing their collective nose at the separation of church and state?

I tried voting on Saturday but it was nuts, you couldn’t find any parking and there were a bunch of lunatics outside waving signs every which way.

Seriously, somehow some moron waiving a sign saying “Take Back America” was going to change my mind at the last minute? That I was going to suddenly lose all common sense and vote for Romney? He couldn’t even get the support of the Salt Lake City Tribune for crying out loud.

Or did they think that it would help me make a decision about who to vote for that up until that very moment I couldn’t make? Ummm do you think if I was still on the fence I’d even bother to show up?

And “Take Back America”?!?!? From what? From Who? I could see if you were a native American, but not some lily white cracker with a crazed look in your eye. We know who you really mean. We understand the code. I don’t need to see the johnny reb flag on the back of your pick ’em up truck.

And aren’t there laws about electioneering? Don’t they have to maintain a specific distance from a polling place? Or am I thinking of a different state? (One a bit more civilized and better “edumacated”). If there aren’t laws there should be.

So after circling for a while I said screw it and got an estimate on a paint job for my car instead. It needed to be done.

Then I got up early on Sunday and went to vote while all of the “special” people were at church. It was peaceful. There was plenty of parking. The folks at the polls were relaxed and unharried. The felt tip markers for the ballots were all in good shape. I had my coffee in my hand, my earphones in my ears listening to music and it was nice, pleasant. Filled in all of the appropriate ovals in black. I was in and out in ten minutes. Got another sticker for my bike. Life is good.

Can’t wait for next time. The only thing I regret is not being able to vote against Allen West again in my old district. Voting against Connie Mack the fortieth just doesn’t have the same satisfaction.

I was left wondering a few things though. How come all of the republican candidates were listed first? After all D comes before R. Even if you went alphabetically by candidate name it would have been mostly democratic candidates first. Is this how the GOP manages to keep control of Florida politics? Subliminal messaging? Hmm it’s listed first must be best, well golleee…

Another thing, How do politicians get to add constitutional amendments to the ballot without any input from the voters first? Of course I voted against all of them. Hey if it’s coming from the herd in Tallahassee it can’t be good. (there were all initiated by republicans too…) Most of the amendments would have meant shortfalls for local budgets, which meant more public school funding would be cut. Or was that the nefarious plan? Lets make public schools suck so bad they everyone will be begging for a voucher so that cousin Bubba can make a buck with his charter school.

So now that I got my voting done I can just set my DVR for the next week so that I can buzz past all of the political ads and ignore all of the lying ads from American GPS Crossroads and the Chamber of Commerce and all of the other groups back with unidentifiable money who don’t give a rat’s patooties about us citizens but only care about lining their own pockets. I’ll start watching live tv after the 8th.

Now if I could only get my mail carrier to stop stuffing my mailbox with all of that crap.


About NoSacredCow

Irreverent atheist, skeptic, independent voter, social liberal, fiscal conservative, music lover, avid reader, engager in ruthless repartee, just an extra in somebody else's movie...
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